Is the UK Top 40 still relevant?

A self-proclaimed Caitlin Moran enthusiast, I am therefore almost obligated to admire her husband, 'Time Lord of Pop' Pete Paphides who regularly graces my ears with his presence on The Guardian's Music Weekly podcast. Very rarely do I find myself disagreeing with the views and opinions of my favourite power couple, but on Boxing Day last year I admit I was shamefully forced into doing so.

Mr Paphides wrote a piece in December 2013 which questioned the demise of Top of the Pops and championed the notion that it return to our screens. The music chart show has made annual appearances on Christmas and New Years Day respectively, but was axed from its weekly slot in July 2006 as a result of plummeting viewing figures, an axe undoubtedly executed with a heavy heart by the BBC.

I am not a Top of the Pops hater, by any means - watching it on a Friday evening with my Dad would quite easily be the highlight of my week. Viewing figures aside, Paphides had me questioning what was stopping the programme from making a comeback - why shouldn't the BBC revive TOTP?

Yet from the perspective of the public, the current relevancy of the Official UK Top 40 in the British music industry is unknown to me. What hit the top spot this week? No idea. The week before? Even less of a clue, and in all honesty, I didn't actually care.

With an increase in illegal downloading, it also seems what the general public is listening to isn't being accurately represented. The inclusion of Youtube hits might perhaps be a more effective way of measuring mass popularity, and yet we still could not trust the statistics entirely - the rickrolling of Rick Astley's 'Never Gonna Give You Up' in May 2007 as an example of what could potentially happen, the video now having had a staggering 73 million views.

Former Radio 1 disc jockey Bruno Brookes argues that the Official Chart shouldn't "just be about buying records", suggesting "a bold and interactive joining of media - a simulcast between Radio 1 and a Top of the Pops-style television show, complete with some kind of voting element," but there again lies the problem of inaccuracy. Surely not every person in the country can be bothered to pick up the phone to vote which song they hated the least that week?

Nonetheless, the Official Chart on Radio 1 still has over a million listeners tuning in every Sunday, not to mention the thousands who watch the countdown across other music channels and radio stations alike. Reggie Yates, presenter of the UK Top 40 from 2007 to 2012, commented that "people still got really emotional about who was going to be No. 1. We'd get thousands of text messages and emails about it every week. It's a real big deal to some people." Let us of course not forget the 2009 Facebook campaign which rocketed Rage Against The Machine's "Killing In The Name" to the top spot in a battle against X Factor winner Joe McElderry.

Telegraph journalist Michael Deacon further conveys that in an age where "we're engulfed by lists...the Official Top 40 has one thing that keeps it unique in that field: it's based on fact (sales) rather than blustering opinion. That's reason enough to let it keep its place - even if that place isn't at No. 1 in the listening figures."

Granted, my own preferred genre is a fair mile away from that of my demographic. My lack of interest might exist as a consequence of individual music taste, you may argue. Perhaps this is an argument weighed down by opinion, and I'm just being a grouch.

Let The Official Chart stay. Just don't count on me to listen to it.

Just in case

This is a little poem I have written for my Creative Writing module at Uni.
Happy January all :) x

-

Just in case,

Keep it in a case,

You might need it again, someday.

Instructions for toys

You no longer own,

Batteries and keys

And mysterious leads,

And where does this lead lead?

And where does this key fit?

And Nan’s old sewing kit,

Which you have to admit

You never really wanted in the first place.

A Maths exercise book

With scribbles aplenty,

And 5 out of twenty,

And for every test

You tried your best,

Your eyes on the clock

For most of the mock,

A pass was pure shock.

A collection of cards,

On top sits 21,

And wishes of fun,

But you can’t seem to throw

Those sitting below,

17, 18, 19, 20,

So they sit in their dust

As mother’s disgust

Grows and she throws

Them in the bin when you are at school.

A Tinkerbell hairpin

A half empty deodorant can

You’re not a Nivea fan

Anymore.

A pen that doesn’t write

But it doesn’t seem right

To chuck it away

It might work again

Someday.

Just in case

Keep them in a case

You might need it again, someday.

The Night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and down the rain poured,

Black cloud coated skies as the icy wind roared,

But in slippers and snow-patterned socks sitting cosy

Were a family of five with their cheeks red and rosy.

Mum and Dad on one sofa, wearing festive red hats,

On the other with antlers, sat Jack, Luke and Nats.

Warm jumpers with reindeer and snowmen aplenty,

Adorned by each member and cost just over twenty.

Frank Capra’s big hit is our festive selection,

A film so fantastic it’s close to perfection.

‘It’s A Wonderful Life!’ George Bailey maintains,

“I’m off to the pub!” my brother exclaims.

A large glass of Baileys for the girls if you please,

Whilst holding off thoughts of the January squeeze.

Christmas songs blaring, Cliff, Wizzard and Slade,

The Pogues, The Pretenders, Bing Crosby, Band Aid.       

“I was friends with George Michael before the Wham! days,”

Dad waffles on proudly as 'Last Christmas' plays.

Stockings hung high and the presents wrapped neatly,

Laying soft in our beds all dreaming so sweetly

Of bright festive cheer on a grand Christmas morning.

Dawn not yet broken, tired eyes droop and yawning,

Reluctantly tearing away from warm covers,

First down the stairs is the younger of brothers.

And what should he find but a marvellous sight,

His face fills with joy and true festive delight,

As his eyes meet upon treats piled up so tall,

Stacks upon stacks of both gifts big and small.

Embellished with glitter and tied up in a bow,

With scarlet red ribbons and sparkle for show.

An empty plate left where a mince pie has been

For grand old Saint Nick who had licked the plate clean.

An empty glass drained of a Winter night's fuel,

Delivering gifts in the season of Yule.

The bells sounding softly with reindeer in flight,

Attached to the sleigh on a cold frosty night.

Church bells a-ringing as Christmas morn breaks,

With each child, ecstatic, in bed quickly wakes.

Playing with toys so impressive and new,

Not one of them naughty with no coal in view.

Thrilled and contented, each wears a large grin,

Dad making the coffee, Mum starting on gin.

Our spirits not dampened by wet windy weather,

That festive cheer oozing all snuggled together,

While watching those classics, a mince pie in hand,

Sing carols much louder than vocals can stand.

“Christmas is here!” we proclaim with such glee.

The best Christmas yet it is sure set to be.

Top ten tracks for a top twelve months.

December is a list-writing month. We read lists and we write lists all month long. List after list after list. Christmas lists, shopping lists, to-do lists and still-left-to-do lists and Oh-My-God-I-have-too-much-to-do lists. It's a wonder we ever get anything done at Christmas in our refusal to be parted with our precious collection of post-it notes.

This week, NME followed suit and wrote a list of their own - a list of 50 Best Albums of 2013, beginning on a high with James Blake's Mercury Prize winning masterpiece Overgrown and awarding the spectacular Arctic Monkeys album AM the number one spot.

The great thing about a list like this is that it can highlight the songs and albums which have formed the soundtrack to your year, neatly categorising from top to bottom, from worst to best. It allows us to fondly recall what was going on in our lives when that record came out, where we were and how we were feeling when we heard that song for the first time. It works as a sort musical epitome of the past twelve months, counting down from 50 to 1.

The even better thing about a list like this is that it is subjective. Particular tracks mean particular things to particular people; music has the power to trigger memories, old and new, individual or collective. By all means, it's advocated that we acknowledge what music critics have to say; they claim to be experts, after all. But their opinions should never categorically define what is good and what is not - it's crucial that you are able to develop and form your own perspective without letting others do the work on your behalf.

Read the NME list, but I encourage you to consider what would be in your own. A bit like I have.

* * *

These are my own choices, not in chronological order...

1. Daft Punk - 'Get Lucky'. I'm admittedly still not tired of this song. April 2013 saw the long-awaited return of the famous French house music duo Daft Punk, and they did not disappoint by any means. This track works a fantastic reminder of a long car journey I had with my best friend in July - we had this song on repeat and we both felt pretty cool singing along as we drove down the M2. Probably didn't look it though.

2. Foals - Holy Fire. I have always been a huge fan of Foals and this is without a doubt their greatest work yet, 'My Number' being the best song on this album and my favourite song of this year. In March I found myself under a great deal of stress with assignments piling up high around me, but this was the album that kept me sane. Pure gold.

3. Arctic Monkeys - AM. Unquestionably the best album of the year. Every single track is outstanding and kept me entertained as I walked back and forth from work over the summer. My walk to work is approximately seven minutes long, so starting with 'Do I Wanna Know?' at 7:45am on a Monday I'd finish off beautifully with 'I Wanna Be Yours' by 4:10pm on a Wednesday afternoon, then begin the cycle again till the end of the week. (My summer was manifestly more thrilling than most, try not to be too impressed).

4. Arcade Fire - Reflektor. Released at the end of October, this double album is truly fantastic and has been played repeatedly on my iPod for the past few weeks. Get it in your life, but bear in mind it's massive. If you want to hear it in one sitting, which I would personally suggest, it's a good one to save for long car/train journeys, or a standard "I'm doing absolutely nothing today" Sunday.

5. Kings of Leon - 'Supersoaker'. This is the lead single from the band's sixth studio album Mechanical Bull, released in July and I adore it. XFM's Jon Holmes went through a phase of playing this track nearly every morning which made me very very happy. They also sounded fantastic on Later with Jools Holland a few months ago.

6. Tom Odell - 'Can't Pretend'. The first single of the singer-songwriter which I have been banging on about since the start of the year.  His album 'Long Way Down' was released during a 4 week period in which I was at home over the summer and will always remind me of being there with my brothers soaking in the sunshine in our back garden.

Tom has had an interesting twelve months with mixed reviews - he began on a high, winning the BRIT's Critics Choice Award in February, but found himself subject to heavy criticism in June after receiving an unbelievable 0/10 rating for his debut album from NME journalist Mark Beaumont. He quickly turned things around, however, scoring the number 1 spot on the Official UK Album Chart in July. He's even been on a date with Taylor Swift, although that hardly makes him one of a kind.

7. Vampire Weekend - 'Diane Young'. I listened to this song again and again and again during my four day trip to Rome in June. Quirky, fun and simply brilliant, as is the rest of the album Modern Vampires of the City. Highly recommended.

8. The Vaccines - 'Bad Mood'. An ideal song to stomp around the house to if your current temperament matches that of the song title. This track came out in March earlier this year and, much like Holy Fire, kept me going during those horrible few weeks of assignment writing. My friend Daisy and I also saw The Vaccines live in May and they were outstanding. And I can confirm Freddie Cowan is even more beautiful in person.

9. The 1975 - 'Chocolate'. Released at the start of 2013, this song was also the soundtrack to assignment writing/stressing and wanting to quit. Admittedly I was a little disappointed with their album, but this track and 'Sex', the band's third single, are very very good.

10. Swiss Lips - 'U Got The Power'. Something a bit different - this band were tipped in March by BBC Introducing, following a week of daily airplay on Radio 1 after being chosen as Scott Mills' Record of the Week. The video is amazing and the track itself is even better. Big things expected.

11. Robin Thicke - 'Blurred Lines'.

Only joking.

The Christmas Cake Waltz

This year I reluctantly signed up to a Creative Writing module on my course at University, and recently we were set a task to write a piece to submit and have our classmates read and evaluate.

As you'd expect, upon hearing that I had to do this I went into panic mode, wondering how in the hell I was ever going to pull this off.

However, I've somehow managed to produce this and thought I'd might as well post it on here as well before it gets ripped apart by my tutor and fellow Creative Writing students.

Enjoy!

Sugar, eggs, butter, flour and spice

Blended together with smells to entice

And tantalise the tongues of the hungry and needy,

The famished and ravenous, so eager and greedy.

The sugar, a temptress and so sweet a dame,

Seducing one’s lips like a moth to a flame,

Crystalline capsules of charm and allure

White in their colour, exquisite and pure

Glistening like jewels in a chest full of treasure

In jumps the salt, a pinch for good measure.

A sly Casanova, a sleaze of a soul,

The butter is next to flop into the bowl,

Oily in looks, slick and sebaceous

Wooing the sugar, his nature flirtatious

Ever so charmed by his flavoursome taste

The two are combined in a velvety paste.

Erupting with envy, the covetous flour

Emits its full rage in a powdery shower,

In true disbelief that her heart seems to flutter

At the unsightly view of this devious butter

The texture turns thick as the powder is blended

With wishes and hopes that the feud can be ended.

The batter takes shape but growing in density

Hostility reaches new heights of intensity,

In need of appeasement, four eggs are invited

And in the spoon’s dance their fuse is ignited,

Conjoining components, on fingers so runny

On eyes golden yellow and dripping like honey.

Yet lacking in zest and sweet Christmas savour

This cake yearns for sparkle, a sharp pungent flavour,

Dates, nuts, sultanas and scarlet red cherries

With currants and raisins, a helping of berries

Soaking in brandy and poured with a splatter

Into the bowl and then mixed with the batter.

Spooned from the bowl and laid into a tin,

Ready and waiting, the bake can begin,

Into the oven, so torrid and steamy,

The mixture rests quietly, its texture so creamy

Transforming from dough to sponge light and fluffy,

An afternoon cooking, the oven now stuffy.

Five hours pass and the timer is sounded,

The scent overwhelming, the cake is abounded

With spices from heaven and perfumes galore,

Aromas so gorgeous that guests cry for more,

Cooling completed, the icing placed gently

And each decoration laid down so intently

Holly leaves carved with meticulous flair,

Lettering piped with precision and care

With wishes of bliss and such bright festive cheer,

Raise a large glass to a happy new year,

The guests take a slice and bite into their treat

With the cake now completed and ready to eat.

A generation of social networking suckers

At the start of this month, I started my third and final year of University, which I find to be very weird. In fact, if I was given a £10 note for every time I have uttered the words "I can't believe it's nearly all over, how very very weird" in the last four months, I imagine I'd be snapping at the heels of Mark Zuckerberg on the Forbes' World's Billionaire List for 2014.

Still, in spite of this typically sarcastic declaration, Zuckerberg's mind-blowingly successful social networking phenomenon leaves me with a fair amount to thank him for.

Facebook has had an overwhelming effect on University life over the past five years, making it far easier to expand our social circles, communicate with our course-mates and stay connected with friends and family from back home. My own Mother, a self-proclaimed "hater" of Facebook, even signed up when I moved away as she knew it was a much simpler way of keeping in contact with me.

Catching up with friends over Skype or over the phone usually means recapping what they have already seen on their news feeds; our society has seemingly adopted this new philosophy that we need to tell the world what we are doing each and every minute of each and every day. Since the site's 2004 launch, we have fallen victim to this pathetic necessity to share every experience, photo, 'hilarious' quip or story with those we are virtually connected with on the site. And few can deny that warm glow of feeling appreciated when a fellow Facebooker 'likes' or comments on something you have posted - oh, what shallow creatures we have become.

Nonetheless, have we ever questioned what life would be like at University without Facebook? To what extent would University life be affected without it to keep us connected to the outside world?

In a survey I conducted amongst my own Facebook friends, 60% said they thought University would be considerably worse without the social networking site, with others stating they thought it would be perhaps "socially worse, but academically better". Suffice to say, Facebook is a popular source of procrastination when there are deadlines to meet and exams to revise for. I'm even signed into Facebook at this very moment as I write this post.

In truth, it is part of this whole fear of "missing out". The harsh reality of it is without an account you are, to some extent, cut off. Facebook is utilised as a way of sharing and discussing ideas and problems on course-related groups, finding out about Student Union events, befriending those in your sports team or society and obtaining the details for meetings, socials and get-togethers. We create Facebook events for days out, nights out and birthdays - the suits at WH Smiths must be tearing their hair out as sales of party invitations in their greetings card department continue to plummet into near nothingness. Not to mention the advantages, though more than often in my case, disadvantages of photo sharing and the entertainment you get from looking at those snaps from the night before, struggling desperately to remember the names of those girls you became best friends with in the toilet and took thousands of pictures with to mark the occasion.

Facebook offers its users the opportunity to create better versions of who they truly are; the ingredients to emitting a more vibrant, fun and flourishing social life are handed to us on a plate - all we have to do is utilise them in the correct manner.

And while we hate to admit it, the social networking site consumes far more of our time than we may initially realise; the average Facebook user spends a total of 20 billion minutes on the website per day. Since Facebook was launched in February 2004, 1.5 billion of us have been posting, liking, sharing and poking (the latter applies to a mere disturbed few) online, with few of us able to go 24 hours without checking our news feed at least once.

Is Facebook making obsessive, robotic fools of us all?

I would love to say no. But if you don't click the like button when you've finished reading, I will be most upset.

Coldplay, the lovable nerds of the music industry.

Coldplay's "Atlas" (not to be confused with the classic Etta James song "At Last" which I foolishly keep typing by mistake) was released earlier this month, recorded for the soundtrack of the greatly anticipated second installment of the The Hunger Games trilogy, Catching Fire. Granted, it is no "Yellow" or "Fix You", not even close, but it does hold a certain dreamy, mesmirising quality which we can only speculate will capture the dramatic, adventure-driven essence of the movie it is written for.

This is the first we have heard from Coldplay since last July, and I for one am slightly disappointed by the shocking lack of promotion or press the band have received in their return to the British music scene, perhaps overshadowed by the storm of excitement brewing around fellow Brit musicians Arctic Monkeys and their latest record AM.

Admittedly, Coldplay are and always have been regarded as the softer, weedier schoolchildren in the playground who nobody would ever like to admit being friends with - most demonstrate a level of acknowledgement and respect but the band has never upheld a reputation quite cool enough to hang out with the popular kids of Britpop, the likes of The Verve, Suede, Blur and Oasis. By no means are they disliked - devotees who display the utmost admiration and respect for Coldplay, myself included, stand proudly in their millions, and the band have performed and sold out all over the world.

And yet a smudge of animosity towards Coldplay still exists, with others utilising the label of "guilty pleasure" - all you need to do is type 'I hate Coldplay' into your search engine to discover vast collections of merchandise with such words printed on them in all their glory - badges, posters, t-shirts, the latter of which I should mention are also available for babies and small children, if you so wish for your hatred of Chris and the gang to spiral down the family tree from generation to generation. Let's not even get started on Noel Fielding's feelings.

But as a band I grew up listening to, not through a choice of my own, but of my Dad's, I have always loved Coldplay and to be perfectly honest, the opinions of other people have never been an issue. So with no hidden agenda or plan to convert you in mind, I have written a list of reasons why Coldplay aren't actually that bad really, and maybe (just maybe) they might start to gain a little of the respect they wholeheartedly deserve.

1. Coldplay write songs for the masses, appealing to a wide audience without turning their backs on their alternative fan base who have followed religiously since the band's formation in 1996, unlike other artists who have shaped their sound to become more radio-friendly e.g. Eminem, Biffy Clyro, Muse, the list goes on.

2. Many consider their music to be depressing and melancholic, but by listening to the lyrics you might be surprised to discover the majority of their songs are rather uplifting and optimistic in the messages and stories they deliver to their audience. Mylo Xyloto is an album which holds the power to brighten my mood at any time of day in most circumstances.

3. They know how to put on a show. As a live band, they are visually and audibly breathtaking; I only wish that I could speak from personal experience. Unfortunately I have never been to a Coldplay gig and must rely on hearsay, but consider the fact that they have been Glastonbury headliners three times and it makes perfect sense.

4. They write their own music; music is an art to them. Lyrics hold far greater power when they are genuine and actually bare a certain level of significance to the person who is singing them, and this is something Coldplay capture impeccably.

5. They have grown as a band, but not to the extent that they no longer sound like themselves. Beginning with the rockier, edgier tone of Parachutes, Rush of Blood To The Head and X&Y, moving onto the darker yet somehow pop-pier sound of Viva La Vida, and contrasting with the lighter and brighter sound of Mylo Xyloto, Coldplay clearly demonstrate how they have matured and developed over the last decade and a half.

6. We might wince at the likes of Bono and Thom Yorke forcing feeding us about the plights of ending poverty and stopping war, but Chris Martin and co. enjoy getting involved with and raising the awareness of such charities as Oxfam and WaterAid without shoving it down the throats of their audience.

7. Coldplay are respectful towards the work of other people and their preferred musical genres, and very rarely do we hear of them speaking negatively about fellow musicians. As a band they are open-minded and understand that every artist has their own unique way of producing music, and their own unique idea of how music should sound and what it should say to its audience.

8. The band have managed to bag 7 Grammy Awards and 8 Brit Awards during their 17 years in the music industry. Rolling Stone even voted them 4th Best Band of the Decade, and Rush of Blood To The Head was also selected as favourite album of all time by the listeners of BBC Radio 2.

Not bad for a bunch of soft weedy school kids.